Slowly, slowly

Well Sweeties, another month have passed, so it’s time to report what happened last month.

Now it can be said that the programs have started (much started…), and we have a somewhat fix schedule.

Since I have to write a shorter report to ÖDE, that’s why I connect nice with useful, and I write about our work a bit longer.

If you remember on the first post, I mentioned that we work in a sort of boarding school that is a home for refugees. We have two shifts, mornings, and afternoons.

The morning shift is from half 9 until half 3. The tasks are the following. At arriving we go to the kitchen right away, where we help to make the breakfast. Sometimes we really just have to help, but sometimes it happens that only the volunteer is there. We make only two types of breakfasts: panini with jam or nutella (italians simply call it chocolate). We warm up milk and pour it in the thermos flask. We warm up extra milk. We prepare cold milk, müsli/cornflakes, cocoa and coffee powder. Meanwhile the operator goes to wake up everyone, and the girls-boys slowly crawl in for food. This time starts the first crazyness of the day. The warm milk is finished. I want water. I want cold water. I want tea. If there is no nutella, I don’t eat breakfast. Jam is not good. I want empty bread.

Every day 4-5 refugees have to help in the kitchen in shifts. Usually we tell them first under breakfast that you have to work today. Usually the answer is aham and sneaking out. Wich is successful or not. There are always a few, who are late from the breakfast, but for me, it is an interesting experience, that italians don’t punish like if you are late, you don’t get food. Maximum they say, that hey, the food time ended, you have to come now? Then: sit down and eat, true we cleaned up all, but here is everything.

I would make a comparison that what is the bread:

Well we hungarians would call it „buci” (I think it comes from the word búbos, that means hooded. So buci would be hoody.) There is other type of bread but I think this way is easier to make the portions. Howewer Mauro already told me that this home is „no Italia”, for me it’s weird that they never eat salty for breakfast. There is no cold meat (medley), omlet (they eat it for lunch), there is no salami, cheese or vegetables.

After everyone finished eating, we pick our helpers in the kitchen and begin to prepare the dinner (!), what is the main meal at this quarter. Cleaning and cutting more kilograms of vegetables every day, we need the help. Usually the guys chat this time, the girls sing or dance. Once we asked to please stop, but a girl said that silence is not good. :D

Meanwhile that we do the laundry. Once I thought I’ll go blind because I had to go on the balkon to put out the clothes, the sun was shining brightly, and when I came in, I saw nothing. :D

When I see that everyone is working in the kitchen and the vegetable cleaning is on the roll, I go control the rooms. If they cleaned, if there is food in the room, if they washed the floor in the bathroom, etc.

There are more personality types, for some it is enough to tell: please do it, others completely ignore me. It also happens, that I start to clean the room but because they love me, they don’t let me do it. By the way this is the key to everything. If they love you, they don’t let you to do the hard work. When the operator in shift arrives from the shopping, and we have to take up all the things on the third floor, I often see that they take it out from Erica’s hands, no, I take this! Mama don’t do it! Here also happens, that you ask someone to help and nothing.

After room control is a little calm, this time I clean the hall and wash the glasses, put out the water. After this there is about one hour dead-time, I usually sit down to learn italian, if I’m not asked to do anything. Around noon I go up again in the kitchen to check how is the lunch preparing going, then I call the guys in shift to prepare the tables, then we make the food portions. Lunch is the same chaotic like the breakfast, counting in that everyone wants more food and they ask not very politely, usually just „X.Y., souce!” or „Rice!”, or „Bread finished!”. After this we clean up everything, there is a little calm or playing ping-pong and shifts ends.

If…

If there is no afternoon program that we must participate at. For example on mondays and wednesdays we have italian course for us, volunteers. Two times a week we teach them english. These programs start early in the afternoon, so these times when our shift ends, we cannot go home.

The afternoon shift looks the same, at least with food, adding that we managed to organize a lot of programs. Afternoons we have to help in leading these. There is italian course for them, for the girls knitting (for the boys too, but so far I’ve seen only one boy making a bracelet), we have music together, wich looks like, Beni plays the guitar, we give them the printed lyrics, then let’s sing together. They really enjoy it, they love to sing. Music is a language we all share. Twice a week there is soccer for them but they would like to play more. Sadly the field is far and we don’t have the capacity to take them out more times. Once (twice now) a week we watch a movie together, with italian, french or english dub. They like it, especially with popcorn. They laugh a lot on the jokes, a girl once was rolling on the ground from laughing. In my opinion, most likely they didn’t see many movies in their life yet, so they are very happy, but Beni says that they express their emotions more than us. I think both are true.

One thing I missed, that is the tea-time. This is the absolute chaos. Down in the kitchen we make the same sandwiches as for breakfast, and we make simple earl grey tea to it. We put a lot of sugar in it. So in 3 liter tea 11 big spoons of sugar. And then they come, that this is not sweet. This doesn’t taste like sugar. Give me more sugar. I want more in it. Sugar, sugar, sugar. Give me apple. I see that there is apple! Why don’t you give apple? Not later, I want to eat it now! How come there is no more bread? I don’t want this, this is a bit dry! (Bread from the morning.) Interesting that I don’t see honey being used here, I didn’t see in the shop either. So the syrup-sugar-like tea with chocolate sandwich and apple is above everything.

I made the following observation at meals. Some eat their cooked food like they pair up and share the plate. They put the plate in the middle and two of them eat from it at once. When they finish, they eat the other portion. So one day I asked, why do you eat like that? For that the answer was: because we are friends. From this I dare to make the conclusion, that it might be a habit in Africa that close friends and relatives literally eat from one plate. Here also the friends wait each other. You cannot remove them from the kitchen until the friend finished eating.

Sometimes the shift has no use because they also help each other. F.e. I say: you are not working today, you can go, you don’t have to be here! But X.Y. is my friend and he/she works and I help him/her. These times we cannot do anything (there is kind of not much space left in the kitchen with 7-10 people in it), we let them to do it. Or some of the girls starts doing the dishes and I tell her, the people in shift will do it. No! I help! Okey, then help, it’s all right. Or f.e. in Africa women work and men… well I don’t know.. I guess long time ago they fought, I don’t know what are they doing nowadays. So one evening we are making the portions and a girl tells to an operator man: sit down, I do it! I say, in Europe men work, women look. (Not really but it doesn’t matter now.)

I feel that they like me and I’m a safe point in their life. They always greet me and ask me how I am doing. The girls come to me without a comment and hug me. They say to me: you are very polite; you are my new friend; if you like it, I will like it too; you are strong; you are smart; the girls call me mama too; the boys learned my name. (They can pronounce it better than the italians.) Then there is a guy, who doesn’t really talk to me (I think he speaks french, and I don’t speak it), but always, when I eat dinner with them, he pulls the chair out for me, he poures the water for me, he compliments and thanks the meal to me. I am amazed how polite he is.

I don’t know how are the guys chosen who make it to the Casa. But one thing is sure: these youngsters won’t destroy Europe. About half of them are christians, the other half is islamic. They live in full peace, that almost all of them practices their religion. I saw in the internet room what kind of things they share. They are grateful to God that they survived the journey to Europe so there are stuff like these on their news feed: Everything is possible with God’s help.

Here is a picture about the drawing that a guy made int he Casa. (Click on the picture to enlarge and read in english.)

Since we are not allowed to share anything about them that would help to identify them, I cover his name.

And how do I feel in this situation?

I am happy, knowing that the work I do is important and useful. I like to do what I’m doing. I receive a lot of love in trade for caring. I love these boys and girls, I try to treat them to make them feel safe. I think this is the most important thing for them right now.

What is hard to accept, that is the timezone of the locals. I do not understand it but I moved on from understanding it. In the hungarian culture being on time is a very important factor and I’ve been raised to be on time, don’t be late. I think of myself as a very strict person anyways, if something is written, then I take it as a fact, that will be so and that time. This is not so here. Italians are more easy-going than that. If they say this will start at half 3, then it simply can be at 5 in the afternoon. Then it also happens that the program just won’t happen. Oh, we forgot to tell you? No problem, you didn’t come from Milano. I try not to be angry about it and think that’s okey, I am a volunteer now, I decided that I give my time. Still I have my culture living in me, that for sure being late, always being late is disrespectful. It is hard to befriend this feeling, because I’m sure that they don’t want to insult us, this is simply the behavior here. From the point of resting, we are missing these hours, when there is 6 hours work in my contract, that shouldn’t be 11 hours, and it really would help exhaustion if we shouldn’t participate in the afternoon programs on our free days. This is namely not clear who exactly has to do what and when. Once I asked for the rules to be written down, for that the answer was, I should use my brain. So I have difficulties being flexible in this way but slowly I’m getting used to it. Just slowly, slowly, like the italians. :D

I’m sorry that this time I didn’t use many pictures, sadly about these things is hard to make documentation that can be shared publically.

As always, please send your comments and questions on facebook or in e-mail (dawndealer@gmail.com)!

Thank you for reading.